The Minutiae of Life as a Militant Squirrel

Everyone is talking about the boykissing video, which I found out about yesterday from rosesmove and have now watched so many times, it's surprising that my video player still works.

I can watch hardcore het porn and just shrug it off, completely unaffected.

Two minutes of watching two fully clothed boys kissing, and I'm so turned on that I can barely sit still!

*flails*

Go. Watch it. You know you want to . . . .

And yes, I *did* save it to my work hard drive. God help me if the powers that be ever decide to investigate my download file.

This is all nerodi's fault.

*nods*

It has nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that I am weak-willed and easily distracted. Nope, it's all her fault.

See, if she hadn't posted that request for links to porn, then I wouldn't have been up until one o'clock in the morning checking out all the good gay porn sites -- for, I might add, the first time ever.

I've lost my online visual porn virginity. :D

*blinks*

And I am still scared to death of any cock longer than about eight inches. Maybe ten. Dear God in heaven, but some of these guys look like they've got baseball bats sprouting between their legs! That makes me shudder. And not in a good way.

My imagination, having been excessively stimulated, is working some serious overtime in the creativity department. Again with the Riley/Graham sexual escapades.

You know, maybe if I just tracked down Marc Blucas and Bailey Chase, kidnapped them and fucked them into oblivion for, oh, say . . . maybe, two weeks? Maybe that would cure me.

In any kind of just and fair world, my birthday present from someone would include some serious skin time with the two of them.

Don't worry, my birthday's not 'til next month. You all have some time to plan and execute the necessary criminal conspiracies.

*hopeful glances at flist*

I think I like writing Riley/Graham because so few people do write it. I mean, think about it. Suppose you have . . . oh, I dunno. Pick your sexual scenario, and if you're writing Clark/Lex, chances are that about three hundred people have already written it. And a third of those have written it really well. And if that's not enough, thamiris has written it so well that you've probably had a spontaneous orgasm in front of the computer while reading her story.

But Riley/Graham? They slash together like Lex and Clark, my OTP to end all OTPs, and hardly anyone writes the two of them.

Yeah, I hear you all going, "That's 'cause hardly anyone reads them!"

Well, you should. They're way fuckin' hot.

And yes . . . for those of you who are wondering, I am now writing porn instead of finishing my huge, fifty-percent-of-the-final-grade-project that is DUE TONIGHT AT SIX PM!!!!!

How'd you guess?

Watching TV on Thursday night really drove home to me the fact that two guys getting it on is totally what does it for me.

"Without A Trace" was on, and there was a brief shot of two boys kissing, going at it intensively the way only teenagers ever seem to do . . . crouched down behind the car in the garage, not really hidden; the kind of careless passion that takes you over, that makes you forget that your mother could walk in at any minute. ( Which the character's mother did, but that's part of the plot and so totally not my point. )

The libido went from zero to sixty in one-tenth of a second.

Then last night, I was watching "Titanic", and I realized that all of the erotic scenes were leaving me cold.

Well, maybe not cold, exactly . . . it was more like having an aesthetic appreciation for something that just didn't push my buttons.

I think I've been thoroughly corrupted by slash fandom.

*grins*

Also yesterday, I watched "Eddie" and concluded that the best thing Marc Blucas ever did for his looks was to cut off that mop of blond hair he was sporting. Short hair is much more attractive on him. And have you seen the shots from "Prey for Rock and Roll"? I'm not generally a fan of tattoos, but I liked his.

Kind of like BadBoy!Riley.

Yum. He's still probably always going to be Riley to me . . . just different versions. As long as I get to see those arms, I'll watch his movies. Even when they suck.

Went back to work at the mall rat job on Saturday. God, was I exhausted! I guess I'm just not accustomed to that level of physical activity any more.

I went home and took a nap, afterwards.

Still, it felt good to be resuming my normal life, and working at the mall is part of my normal life. Plus, I actually felt appreciated and useful, whereas at my day job? I'm starting to wonder if my position is safe.

I just got back to work! Please don't fire me!

Sigh.

Yesterday was the annual Christmas brunch at Aunt Jinny's. This is the second year in a row that Aunt Nancy has not graced me with a gift, despite the fact that I got her something ( all right, I admit that the gifting was at Mom's insistence ).

Anyway, I'm thinking that maybe I won't bother, next year. It's not like I actually like her. And, God! She was bordering on rude when I handed her the gift I had for her. "You shouldn't have," she said, completely straightfaced. "No, really. You shouldn't have."

Said with an expression as if she were being handed a smelly dead fish.

Bitch.

Oh, well. At least I'm not related to her by blood.

I need to get my mom something for Christmas. I'm thinking a nicer purse than the one she has, which is falling apart because she stuffs so much crap into it. And I'd like to get her something that has room for her cell phone, since she's constantly leaving it in the car or on the kitchen table when she pulls her purse apart looking for things.

Maybe I will do something stupid like go to the mall tonight after work.

I ordered slippers for Dad from L.L. Bean. I love their stuff, because it's all got a lifetime guarantee. It makes the money you pay really worth it.

Kristin's present was a combination birthday/Christmas because it was really expensive. I'll probably get her a jar of olives or something as a token gift.

lucifrix either really liked her gift, or else did a faboo job of pretending that she liked it. *smooches* I'm always really nervous when I get something for someone that I'm totally convinced they'll love . . . because what if I'm wrong?

Always with the last-minute second-guessing, that's me.

And in a fit of excess Christmas spirit, I wrapped up something for my immediate supervisor. I hope she doesn't think I'm trying to buy my way into her good graces or anything. I really do like her, and I thought it would be nice to get her something. That's all. This morning, I started to worry that she'll think I had ulterior motives or something.

More second-guessing, here.

Sigh.

I plunked it on her desk and am trying to forget about it.

In positive news, my beloved Atlanta Falcons beat the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in a squeaker, 30 - 28.

They always win when I don't watch. I'm getting a complex.

I've always had a soft spot for the Cincinatti Bengals, but they got creamed by the freaking Rams! Hope they pull it together for next week. I'd like to see at least one of my favorite teams make it into the playoffs.

The Packers play tonight in Oakland. That should be a good game. Although without Favre, I'm not sure they can do much. This might be closer than I like.

Ah, another night without sleep. Well, I've done more with less.

Hm. Well, I'm off to write in The Special Hell now. Hope I can recapture the vibe I had on Friday!