IT'S MONDAY, ISN'T IT?

[redfirecracker]

I totally want one of THIS PIC IS NSFW. It's the first dildo I've ever seen that makes me actually imagine myself using it on Dean some guy.

Not that it'll happen anytime soon or anything. I'm just saying.

Speaking of guys, I'm sure I'm the last person on the planet to get this, but pardon me while I bitch about something I find really annoying in the online personals ads: the number of guys complaining, even downright whining about how great they are, but they can't find a woman who is funny and smart and sweet. They talk about how they're not picky, they don't care about race or religion, and yet, the one must-have on their lists?

She has to be thin.

"Slim, slender, athletic, fit, toned" -- that's all I'm seeing. I'm as vain as the next person, and I admit, it's tough NOT to make a judgment call based on a person's posted photo. But the guys who describe themselves as being "a few pounds overweight"? Who don't have necks and who actually look like linebackers, without the muscle underneath? Yeah, you guys have a lot of nerve looking for some lollipop girl.

Especially if you're also using your ad as a platform to complain about how all the girls out there just want guys with bodybuilders' physiques.

I LOATHE hypocrisy. Even in myself.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

On another note, this weekend somehow turned out to be "RELIGIOUS-THEMED MOVIES" weekend. I grabbed Constantine, which is fucking awesome even if it does star that dork, Keanu Reeves; Gabriel, a low-budget Aussie production which went to some really cool places, philosophically speaking; and The Fountain, which, granted, was more about Hugh Jackman than anything else, and which I haven't watched yet. It remains to be seen if I decide that Hugh Jackman was worth the pretentiousness.

I also snapped up the incredibly cheesy and just all-around awful Bats: Human Harvest. I suppose that losing two hours of my life because I was sucked in by the hotness of David Chokachi is exactly what I deserve. Also, he's not so hot anymore. Somebody needs to tell him to lay off the weed, because man, he is looking pretty ragged. He had the best acting in the flick, but that's not saying much... everyone else seemed like they'd gotten their scripts the day before, and David had maybe had one extra day with his.

*eye roll*

There was another one, but I forget what it was. Something out of the horror camp, I think.

Damn. Eh, I can check when I get home.

ETA: I remember now! 30 Days of Night, with Josh Hartnett and some other people I didn't recognize. Half horror, half religious-- I picked it because it seemed like a good way to straddle the line between Bats and Constantine.

Comments

[lucifrix.livejournal.com]

IMO, it's not at all hypocritical for a fat person to want a thin partner, or to be simultaneously disappointed that other people don't prefer their body type--it's no different than you having dark eyes but preferring light ones. The ethics are not in how you feel, which I don't think can be forced, but in how you act (part of which is realizing that whatever you demand for yourself, that is respect for your preferences, you have to give to other people too). And I think what you say in an ad is part of how you act, which means you ARE a dick if you make fun of fat women, but are mad because people won't consider you as a fat man (for instance).

[redfirecracker.livejournal.com]

I think what I felt was hypocrisy was the guys who were complaining that women only seem to care about the looks of the guys they dated ( the implication being they were not interested in these particular guys because of their size ), and yet those same men were specifically dissing entire categories of potential dates because of *our* size.

One guy actually emailed me, but his profile read, and I *do* quote, "I do not consider women of color attractive, nor do I feel that large women have more to love." Uh, dude-- did you not even LOOK at my picture? Let alone read my profile?

I see your point, though, about preferences, and I hadn't thought of it that way before, so I'm glad you mentioned it. Overall, I think I'm just late to the party of learning all this personals-ad stuff. :)

[lucifrix.livejournal.com]

Clearly you're late to the party, because you haven't learned the very first lesson of personals: Men don't read the text. :) Not all of them, but a sad, sad number.

I get what you mean in your first paragraph. That pisses me off, this idea that it's perfectly normal and reasonable for men to be shallow, but not women. Or, interpreted another way, there is lots of wiggle room for various physical characteristics, except for fatness, which is just plain unforgiveable.

The guy who emailed you, I don't like him based on his profile. I don't care that he isn't into certain physical characteristics, but I have a visceral negative reaction to people who are clearly trying to be cute or clever about it (I'm not sure why). I've seen a zillion ads that said the poster wasn't interested in fat women, and that's cool and I move on. But I remember one--that's how much it bothered me, I remember it even though it was at least 5 years ago--where the guy said something like "Not to be mean, but I don't want a woman I can't carry!" And I just wanted to send him an email saying "Then maybe you need to work out."

[redfirecracker.livejournal.com]

I wonder if the thing about not reading text really is a gender-linked trait? I wouldn't be surprised to find out that it is... I bet there's a study about it, somewhere.

And you're right, that it seems fatness is considered the one thing no one wants in a mate... unless you go to the opposite extreme and end up with "chubby chasers", and we had that discussion the other night, about feeling fetishized.

I wish you *had* replied to that guy you're talking about... I would have loved to hear his response! As an aside, I have dated more than one guy who, while being slim himself, could still pick me up with ease, so clearly, the problem definitely lay with the poster of that ad. ;)

[orb2069.livejournal.com]

Hi! Just tuning in (Showed up here from reading your posts in Lucifrix's journal).

Personal ads: I imagine they're a better resource for women than men, but I personally found that the few people I found interesting on there (And how much can you really find out about somebody in a 1024-character text field?) had either been dissuaded/drown by the carpet-bombing types(*), or were sticking with the medium and digging through the waves of pointless response because they didn't have a lot of other options, or much to offer.

(* - Natural side effect of the pay-per-month or free models: Each individual thinks "If I can fish all ponds at once, I can throw back what I catch and don't want."(**), so - collectively - it turns into a tragedy of the commons (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tragedy_of_the_commons), where just about every female on the system is so spammed under that they eventually just give up.)

((** - Just how ridiculously egotistical this sort of thinking is varies by individual, but the fact that one has to be somewhat of an asshat to behave like this just makes the effects worse.))

I've heard that women-seeking-men, in general, have better luck with pay-per-contact systems, like the one that (Last I checked) runs the Onion personals. Expect to get hit up for numerous three-ways, however.

Constantine: If you have any comic interest, I'd recommend the Hellblazer series, particularly the earlier episodes. I didn't like the movie personally, but I can't figure out if that's from my irrational hatred of Keanu, or not being able to detach from the comic...

[redfirecracker.livejournal.com]

Hi and welcome! It's always good to meet new people on LJ!

Personals are one of those things that I sometimes do, and then I remember why I hate to use them! But I freeze up around guys that I find attractive, so personals are kind of a necessary evil. This time around, I'm using match.com, which came highly recommended, but which seems to contain a higher-than-usual percentage of asshats.

Thanks for the tip about Hellblazer... I'm not a comics fan, but I'm always willing to give something a try based on a recommendation!