Thinking again . . .

. . . which may or may not be a good thing.

See, I was thinking about LJing, and the electronic world in general, and my online friends in particular.

Does the proliferation of live journals and weblogs affect the quality of life as we know it?

I know that I developed several online friendships as a result of my participation in various mailing lists. And I've been less responsible than I really would like to be about maintaining those friendships with emails -- because I read their journals, and they read mine, and why bother typing the same thing over again in a private message?

Well . . . maybe because the personal touch is necessary to maintaining even online relationships.

I feel like I've drifted away from these people. I was catching up on a friend's weblog ( as opposed to her LJ ) this morning, and she mentioned me in an entry, quoting something I'd said almost a year ago.

My first reaction was delight that I'd been mentioned. My second was to wonder when I'd said what she quoted me as saying. When I realized how long ago it had been, I started thinking.

And then I started feeling bad.

I've let a lot of stuff slide over the last year. People in particular. It's a bad habit I get into when I'm busy and stressing out over stuff . . . I tend to retreat into my shell rather than keep contact with friends and get out and do stuff.

It's not always a good thing.

And now, suddenly, six months later, I find myself alone and isolated in an electronic, 24/7 world.

I need to reconnect with people, and I don't always know how.

It's a sad state of affairs.

I heard on the news the other night about Spirit Airlines' September 11 promotion. My first reaction was to book a flight for L.A.

Then I started second-guessing myself. Would the people I wanted to visit out there even *want* to see me? Especially after I've been virtually ignoring them for months?

I don't know.

Anyway, by the time I got to a computer the next morning, the website said "No More Flights. Please Go Away."

Just kidding about the 'going away' part. But, you know, it kind of took the issue out of my hands and I didn't have to decide whether or not to try and fly out to the West Coast.

By the way, the flights sold out in less than eight hours, according to last night's news. So I don't feel quite so much like a hopeless slacker now!

Still, I feel bad for distancing myself from my friends. And I worry that they won't forgive me.

So in case you haven't figured it out by now, this post is kind of about guilt.

write what?

I can do this. I know I can, I know I can, I know I can.

I *must* get past this block of mine and get some fucking fic going! I was so ecstatic a few weeks ago when I got a good start on something . . . now it's just fizzled hopelessly away.

Pffft.

Deadlines make me queasy. I can't possibly imagine what I could possibly write in the next four weeks, but I need to get something comprehensive and worthwhile going in the slow cooker of my brain.

Deadlines without guidelines absolutely *suck*. All I've got to go on is "all stories must be either from the POV of a 'secondary character' (in this case, NOT Clark ) or be *about* a secondary character".

Grumble.

I think part of my problem is that the category is too damned broad. Well, that, and the whole writer's-block thing that I've got going on.

How do people *do* it? Just churn out fic on command? I'm at a loss. Authors? Other points of view are most welcome.

Anybody want to challenge me? Maybe that will help.